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Hey, I'm Maddie, and I'm Skylar, and you're listening to Butter Together, we're two friends who believe food isn't just about what's on the plate. It's about the people, the stories, and the little moments that bring us closer. Each episode, we'll share conversations, memories, and maybe a few recipes too, because the best things in life are meant to be shared. So come hang out with us and let's get into it. How are you, Skyler? I've just been recovering. Yeah.'cause you went on a trip. Wow. Where'd you go? I went to Spain. Spain. Wow. I went there for a beautiful festival, prima vera sound. This year it seemed to be all about the, she's the Vs. And the gays. Mm-hmm. Love it. And we had Charlie and Troy, Sabrina Saprina and Chappelle chap chaperone. How fun do, do you eat anything cool there? Apart from your, apart from my stomach? Yeah. I mean, my favorite, come on, come on. Tell them about it. I think this is so cool. Skylar showed me that this is a thing that they did in Spain. It is a beautiful thing that they did in Spain. Yeah. This is what got me into eating cured meat. I can't say I don't like it, but I wasn't into prosciutto or salami, I guess I ate it as a kid. I was into bologna as a kid. Baloney. Oh my gosh. But now Monte Baro is a cured pork. Where these pigs, these beautiful, amazing pigs are grown on a diet of acorns. Wow. And they're like free, free range razed. I dunno how you would They just graze on, they just eat acorns. Acorns. And there's like different grades to it. Yeah. So a hundred percent is one that's lived its full life on acorns. Wow. There's like a 50% and maybe, I think a 25 to 75% like ratio where interesting grain and acorns. So the a hundred percent is the best. The best. Wow. And it goes like black, red, and I wanna say white. So black is the a hundred percent. Red is about 50. I am obsessed. That's awesome. That's pretty much it. Yeah, it's, it's insane. It's so cheap there too, because it's just. Everywhere. Yeah. And here if you want something like that is, is just like acorn farms where like pigs are Roman. You think like just eating it. The farmer's Hey, can I just bring my pigs? Yeah. They're just a low hungry. I don't know. That's, I think that's an interesting question. I haven't thought about it that much. I'm like, do they just like force feed, like shovel acorns or like poor guys? I'm sure they like it. Pigs like most things, right? They do. They will eat anything, I think. But maybe there's they go through forest during the day and they're like shuffling and There you go. Digging for'em. Oh, fun. God, that's so cute. Well, I'm glad you're back, but I'm glad you got to go and Yeah, and see the show. It was a wonderful time. Yes, I had fun with my friend. We're going by E. Yeah. You had your friend E went with you. My friend E went with me. How fun. Yeah. We've been friends for over a decade. That's insane. That is, it's awesome. It's awesome and crazy. It makes me feel really old, even though I'm not that old. Yeah. I guess I'm young at heart. Yeah. We all, we are quite young still. But that is, that's a, that's a cool thing to experience at the time. It was, it was our first time going on a trip together there. I hope she had an amazing time. Yeah. Stay tuned for me and Skyler's trip together. Coming to you 2026. Where would that be? We still, we're still thinking about it. I still think we should go to Japan. I definitely think we should go to Japan. That's where my heart's set. And we're gonna make it a hiking trip. Yes. Hiking food extravaganza. Maybe a little work away. Little work away. Yeah. But I'm glad to be back. Yes. Glad to have you back. I'm glad to be here. Should we get started in what we're gonna talk about today? I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. Well, today, me and Skylar have been thinking about this episode for a little bit now. Uh, and we've kind of touched on it on kind of like why we think this podcast is important. Yeah. We're circling back. Circling back. Mm-hmm. Getting back to the basics. So the main question mm-hmm. That I wanna ask today that we will we'll go into different categories about is how does food shape relationships, and we'll talk about it within romantic relationships, friendships, and then also like socially and culturally like our relationships with like greater population, beautiful people. Yeah. I think, I think most of us can agree when we say that. A lot of friendships, any relationship is kind of centered around food. I mean, or it involves food at the, or it involves the, you go out to dinner with your friends or you say, Hey, I, I already ate today. So that changes your plans with your friends. Mm-hmm. So they're like, oh, well let's do this instead. Or, oh, I didn't eat. Oh me either. Let's go get food. Or if you're like, well let's get drinks after you're done drinking after the night is kind of coming to an end. You go to like fast food or Yeah, pick a little hot dog for card. So yeah. I'm excited to get into it today. Yeah, I think it'll be good. This will be fun. It'll be fun. Okay, so starting, we could start with our relationships with friends. How has your relationship with food changed because of someone else is our first question. Well, I think I can think of off the top of my head, two or three friendships that have expanded due to a love of food and a love of seeking out new experiences related to food. So one of my friends you know, we've, we worked together, we hung out. We've had a good times. And I think even the first time we hung out was like a group hangout and we got sushi together. And then over time we've we both realized that we love to, yeah, we love to experience new food, like trying something that we've never done or eaten before. And I think food is a great way for you to feel like, you know, like you're expanding your boundaries, kind of expanding like what you're used to, what you're used to, going outta your comfort zone a little bit by trying something new. And it's not you're going skydiving or you know, horseback riding or something. You're just you're experiencing something new together in a safe, safe avenue. Right? Yeah. And she had told me that, you know, like sometimes it's hard to bond with people when they're really hesitant or resistant to trying new foods because that's important to her. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's like a, like a kind of a segue into who you are, like personality wise. It's well, if you're down to try new food, then maybe you're down to try new experience. Maybe you want to go like on a trip, you know that you've never been somewhere before or you know, like a little bit more spontaneous in a way. Just yeah, open to no experiences. Open-minded. Open-minded. I think that's like the first place to start that is like. Food is a great way to start being more open-minded. Hmm. Yeah. Food is like kind of that starter, it's an easy way. Mm-hmm. Depending where you are, I think too. Yeah. I think in, in our case, I think because we're in California. Mm-hmm. We have a lot of opportunities to try different types of food. We are very lucky in that way. And it's food that there's culture behind it. It's not something like, let's just make this thing because it's like trendy or new. And of course we have hundreds of those, but there's also families and you know, communities that want to represent their culture, their home, and they want to eat something that reminds them of home. So we have really good places to experience really authentic food. I think. We're really, really lucky. So with your friend mm-hmm. How did that friend change your relationship with food? Like how did going out and trying new foods with her change your relationship with food? Did it just kind of give you more experiences, keep you open?'cause you already had that in you probably why you guys did that together. Yeah. I can't say with this one experience that really changed my relationship with food, but it changed my relationship with her. There you go. So yeah, it definitely deepened our bond, I believe. And I have another friend who showed me, like his home, his kind of home cooking and his family's like food parties that really, that expanded my relationship with food and. What it really meant to like, bring people together and see how everyone brought their own dish or, you know, made it there together with their family. Like really expanded my ways of thinking how food brings people together. Like it's not just, of course you're feeding someone and feeding the people you love, but there's a bonding experience when you watch that and when you're a, a part of that. Yeah. Like cooking together and you know, you're both reaching for the same ingredient or like you're looking for a certain, you know, like the butter or the oil or whatever. And it just is kind of like this beautiful, messy chaos, but also there's like a rhythm to it because when it's family, there's like this, it's like a flow. Yeah. Flow. Yeah. It's really beautiful and it made me very, very like envious and also grateful to be able to like witness and participate. And then also I would like. I wish I had this more often. Yeah. This is amazing. Yeah. And it definitely takes a village to do something like that. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. How about you? I think my relationship with the food has changed definitely from meeting other people and hearing their thoughts on like food. I think for a long time where I grew up, I wasn't really ecstatic about it. I didn't think there was like much here until I started working actually at a bakery that we worked at and our, so our sous chef I was like, yeah, I'm just like not really excited about this area. And she said, what are you talking about? There's all these farmer's markets there. This is the terrain you live in. This is what things grow here. And it was the first time my relationship with food changed because someone else mm-hmm. Was just giving me information that they, and things that they like to do in my area with food. So for me it's a lot of like people giving me recommendations. Oh, have you tried this place? And it's oh no, I haven't. And then you go there with that person. Mm-hmm. And then that experience, I think shapes just like understanding a wider range of like food types, food places, and just like understanding what's around me more. So it made me appreciate where I lived a lot more. And I think that relationship with someone just like already into that really grew me not just as a chef or baker, but also as a, like a person for sure. Yeah. It definitely like expands like your awareness and then I guess the gratitude mm-hmm. You have towards an area. Yeah. You know, like when you travel somewhere else and you're like, fuck yeah, I really want like a real, like taco Yeah. Or burrito or Oh yes. And you go and you try and seek it out and you're like. You like, that's not what I'm used, used to. Oh my. Yeah. No, Mexican food here is amazing. Yeah. Going, traveling anywhere else in the us I mean, some places really got it down, you know? I hope so. Yeah. Texas, honestly, really? I, I, I was just in El Paso. Okay, okay. Okay. But no, I think, I think definitely like border states. Yeah. Do it pretty well, but also, I think it, the cool thing that I grew up on is understanding there's so many different cultures in America. Mm-hmm. And especially in California, that you get such authentic family recipes at places. And that's a really beautiful thing. I mean, we were called the melting pot at one point, That like we are all coming from different backgrounds to celebrate together. Like coming somewhere new and finding a home. Yeah. And making it our home. Mm-hmm. And that definitely means like carrying through, you know, traditional food and places that remind us of where we'd come from or our families come from. Mm-hmm. And I think two. Cut that or to, you know, isolate that idea from who we as Americans are is it's kind of sad. We, we lose a lot. It's sad. I do. We lose a lot. We lose a lot from that. Yeah. We lose a lot of like understanding and just like the fact that it's been like that. Yes. And, and, and I think I think the more we get into relating with each other through food, the more we can get to a better place of understanding with different cultures and different people. Unfortunately. And fortunately, food is political. Yes. To an extent. To an extent. Yeah. I think, I think most things can be political. I think what's great about food is that it's not centered around ideas or, like ideologies. Mm-hmm. It's their experiences. Mm-hmm. You have with people, these are like real things that are happening right now with like relationships. Mm-hmm. And so what I love,'cause I'm not a politics person at all I literally sweated when we started talking about this, but I think that's why food is so brilliant in its way of bringing people together mm-hmm. And giving people better understandings Yeah. Of each other without having to talk about what, who do, what do you believe in? Mm-hmm. What is this? And instead it's here, share this food from my, where I grew up. Yeah. And, and just experience it. It's like a, it's almost like a blanket. Mm-hmm. You know, no matter you can be from different backgrounds or any side, whatever, you know, but when you're sharing a meal with someone, that's not the focus. You're seeing someone as a person, like a human being and you're. Conversating with them. You're creating a moment and a memory with them. Yeah. Over something delicious. Ooh, I like this question. Uhhuh. What is something you've learned about me by eating with me? And then vice versa, answer, sir. I think you're pretty adventurous and say you're not. Yeah. I think you're always down to if I have a certain place in mind that you're, you're pretty willing. I've never heard you be like, Hmm, no, not this time. I really want to, you're always very adventurous and or I know that we can always if, if I'm ever like feeling weird or like off, you're always down to go get something and we can talk about it or Yeah. Change a plan. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Ah, thank you. Who knows that? Yeah. Interesting. Something I've known or I've learned about you by eating with you. I think I knew this before we started doing this podcast. Mm-hmm. But I didn't really like know it, know it, but the way you value making food for people mm-hmm. The value put on it. Mm-hmm. Is something really cool. My favorite times we've hung out is when we just cook together or we like, we're like, let's not go out today. Let's just eat something here. Or we have other plans. Mm-hmm. Like video podcast. But I think that's the time that I really like, I love watching you cook because you're very intentional and caring through it, and you put like a, like a bit of vulnerability in it. And I think that's how you are as a person too. You're very caring, you're very vulnerable, and you just want people to appreciate your things and it's really sweet. Aw. I've never thought about it like that. Yeah. And I didn't know it like. It exposed me. Well, I think it's a good thing. I think that's, that's really nice. Yeah. I think that's, that's a cool thing about food is it's very disarming. I think it's very disarming in the way that like, you kind of are just like yourself while you cook. Mm-hmm. And I love watching people cook because I think I learn a lot from people. Mm-hmm. And like their personality through cooking. Yeah. With them. I definitely every time we do this podcast, Maddie makes me dinner and I, my heart crumbles a little inside. Like I feel It's so sweet. And I, I do, I really do value when someone wants to like, make a meal to share between us or puts it in mind that they're gonna make me dinner. I don't expect that from you, but I also am like, you're spoiling me so much that I'm like, I can't wait to go eat dinner with Maddie. Yeah. Oh, what's been tonight? And it. Uh, I, yeah, my live for you just grows a little bit more every time. You're so sweet. Not as crying. Yeah. Gosh, don't look at my tears really sensitive. I think this is just a fun one. Okay. I think just do a fun question. Yeah. But what meal would you describe me as? This is so terrible, but also it does make me think of you now lately. It is like protein and eggs or you know, whatever you would describe me as a high protein meal. That's amazing. Yeah. I think I would, I'm like yogurt. Yeah. Like whenever, like you, you want a snack, you want yogurt? Ooh. Yeah. I love granola and berry always down for yogurt. Like shit. Yeah. That's delicious. But yeah'cause in my head I'm like, Maria is so fit. She is so fine. And you care, you, you really care about what you're putting in your body and kudos, kudos. So much respect. And you make, you know, you, I think you cook for yourself pretty often. Yeah. And you definitely are like hitting your, your poaching goals. You're going for your poach goal. Exposing me. But I love that about you. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. Like egg, not like a hard boiled egg. No, no, no. Like a nice, a fried it, a like jammy. Little jamming in the middle. Little ssa, little sal. Little spicy, little spicy. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. This one. It, I'm like, really trying to think. It would totally be okay if you said french fries. No, you were not french fries. I love french fries. I know you love french fries, but that's not what I would describe you as as a meal. And I know you said this last time that your favorite meal to cook is soup or like making any kinda soup. But I do think Okay. You're very specific soup, so I'm gonna describe you as a soup. Okay. You are, you are a like light broth I don't know if I'm gonna say this right, but you, you are Asian inspired soup. Okay. I'm just gonna put it, I don't know the actual place, but you have like an, it's like the perfect balance of the right spices without you're not like a punch of like a, what was it called? Chili oil or anything. Mm-hmm. It's like the flavors all compliment each other. Like the meat, the, the bone broth, the, the the veggies in it that gives it that fresh little like nice Yes. Kick to it. A so soup of bra, but it's not, it's not it's not a pungent soup. Mm-hmm. It's like one of those very well balanced soups. Mm-hmm. And they have fun little things in it. Things like a, what do they called? You're the eggs. Making me think of fa. Yeah. A little bit. Maybe you're fa Oh, your making, you're fun when you're feeling sick. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You're like comforting, but just like from the earth, you know? I love that. I love when you, as soon as you said bone broth, I was like, Ugh. Bone broth. She knows me. She's a bone broth girl. That's a fun question. I like, that's good. I like that. I just not expect you to say protein. Yeah. You're a high protein, low carb meal. Like meal, you're a high protein meal, but like in general, I kind of associate you more with pastries. Mm, yes. Ooh, because I know, bring you lot of joy. Describe me as a pastry. Mm. Okay. That's a fun one. Yeah. Uh, I think of when it comes to mind is those cinnamon rolls mm-hmm. That you make are your brioche buns. Yeah. Your like swirls. Mm-hmm. Because I think of you are like super soft and fluffy and then like I see like glaze on top. Something like very comforting and like warm and. Nobody is gonna be mad at ACIN roll. That's true. And everybody that meets you loves you. Aw. So yeah, do kind. Its just come on. You can never say no to acin roll. Never say no. It could be fucking a hundred degrees outside. You pull up with Acin roll. I'm like, fuck yeah. Let's put it in the, let. That's so fun. Yeah. I'm trying to think of you. When I, my first thought, when I was thinking of pastry, I thought of you're, like a, uh, I swear I'm not being racist, but No, I swear. But like, when I think it's like a sobe, but with a foreign fruit. A, an interesting, okay. It's the same thing where it's comforting, but it's also it like satiates the need of the day. Mm-hmm. You're like, oh, I needed this. Mm-hmm. Like every time I hang out with you, I'm like, I needed that. Whatever happened that day, I was like, yes, it was perfect. Yeah. So yeah, I would say like a that's not the right thing, like a passion fruit sorbet or something like that. Right. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Okay. That's a good one, so we talked about how food influences our relationships with friends mm-hmm. And meeting new people, different cultures, how does food shape our relationships, like in intimate relationships like romantic? Do you think sharing food creates intimacy? Why or why not In a romantic sense, I guess, or in, in, in, in an intimate relationship. Yeah. I definitely think it was a sharing food. Yeah, sharing food creates intimacy, sharing food definitely creates intimacy. I mean, you're like, not physically sharing, but Yeah, like sharing a meal. Sharing a meal. Yeah. I, yes. I just thought about that. I was like, people thinking, we're talking about feeding people, Tam, poppa. Yeah, I definitely believe that. Again, like what we were talking about earlier, like cooking for someone is, like you said, it is like a vulnerable moment. You know, you're kind of putting your heart on display when you're cooking for someone because it's like those. Common motions that become routine for you may not be the same for someone else. The way you move around a kitchen, the way you, you know, balance yourself and your, your ingredients or, you know, is it gonna be like a cluttered mess around the kitchen? Are you gonna be kind of clean and sufficient in your flow? I think that is, uh, it's a very big segue into seeing someone. Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. And like when you're sharing the meal with them, I mean, not everyone is like the cleanest eater. Yeah. You know, there's you know, or some people like smack their mouths or they're, it just, I think it shows Yeah. Different habits. Yeah. Different habits. And you're very kind of aware, I think when you're heating with someone especially like on a first date, you're just am I closing my mouth? Am I like chewing quietly? Or do or fuck it? You know? Yeah. Am I having so much fun with this person? I'm just gonna be, you know, like walls down. Yeah. Being open with them. I definitely think food is sharing a meal is a great way to kind of sees who someone is. Yes. So I a hundred percent agree. The, I think one of the things too with sharing a meal with an intimate relationship mm-hmm. Like with a person there's even more apprehension, and a lot more insecurity because you really like this person and you want them to like your food. And I've seen like both sides of it, of you can tell when someone is very insecure cooking for you versus someone you're comfortable with, you have a relationship with, like you're, you're feeling good. Like it's mm-hmm. It's less of a, you're, you're not thinking about it as much. Mm-hmm. So yeah, I think it like shows comfortability with someone and it also shows I think. Your comfortability with yourself. Yeah. I think in those intimate moments that like, I know so many, I, I bet you people are like, that's a little too deep about, you know, cooking food. But if you think about it, it shows a lot. Yeah. Even if Compatibility, yes. It shows your compatibility a lot. Yeah. If you're gonna invite someone into the kitchen to cook with you Yes. Like, how are you guys gonna work together to make this meal? Yeah. It's a, it's a dance. Yeah. It is a dance. Yeah. Like relationships are, I think in general, but I think adding the food component and because the more time you spend with someone, like in an intimate relationship, food comes up a lot. What are we gonna have for dinner? What are we gonna do here? Mm-hmm. Do we wanna go out? Do we wanna do this? And I think there, I think it has a lot to do with the attitude towards food in a relationship matters. Mm-hmm. I used to think it didn't, but I do think it matters. If someone. Thinks about it a lot and cares about it a lot, it comes through and that person needs to reciprocate that. Mm-hmm. Or at least appreciate it. Yeah. But yeah, I don't expect like in every intimate relationship that our food compatibility is gonna be there. Oh yeah. And it's something that grows too. Yeah. I think over time What is a food red flag for you in an intimate relationship? Not being open minded. That I think says a lot about someone. Yeah. Like I get comfort food and being, you know, like within a, kinda like a safe parameter between food and stuff. But I think if in the very lowest of being open-minded is kind of food. And they're not willing to be vulnerable and like trying out a new recipe, you know, yeah. Waiting for that person's response. This, this good did I do okay? Or, you know, this is me going on a limb and trying something new to try and impress you or something. Or just being like, I can't eat burgers and french fries every day, every day. Yeah. You know, I'm not like steak and eggs or whatever. If it becomes monotonous, you know what that's kind of mean. I don't think it's mean. I think that's, that's a, that's your take on it, or, huh? Some people have orid. What's that? Where they like physically cannot handle trying new foods. Well, but I think that that's for you is a red flag because in, in a, in an intimate relationship, you need that. And I think that's, that's helpful to know, especially when, like you said, dating, right? Mm-hmm. I think food is a lot more important than people say it is. Yeah. Because I, I feel the same way is if someone of course I love protein. I'm sorry. No, but no, I think this is a good one. Yeah. So like I do, I'm more food conscious mm-hmm. Mostly for my own health. I don't really care what other people do. But if the person I'm with hates like, thinking about that, I'm gonna be constantly uncomfortable because I'm gonna be like, well, I either need to prep beforehand. Yeah. Or be with someone who's more compatible in that way of I think it's a big thing that people don't talk about, like in red flags in relationships, but mm-hmm. Yeah. If your goals are separate or like your, your main priorities are separate with food. It, it does affect your relationship a lot. Yeah. Or you know, like on Instagram when I see oh, my boyfriend's a chef and he's gonna make this meal. Mm-hmm. To me, in my head, like when you're someone that's in the kitchen all the time, of course you love cooking, but when you're coming home Mm. Unless that per that person you're with is also like in the food industry, you know? Yeah. I wouldn't say that there's, I think the balance becomes unequal. Mm. Are you expecting this person to cook for you all the time? Because Yeah. You have experience in a kitchen. I feel like in that case it's person to person. Yeah. Because I think too, when you are in the food industry, like your, your goal is to be a chef, it's really hard to turn that off. Mm. So I don't necessarily want to bake things. Some days, but like intrinsically, if I want to figure out a recipe, I just will, you know? Yeah. And then, oh, there's someone around. I could give that to that person. Totally. Okay. Yeah. So I don't think it's like an, I think it's not so much of a role expectation. Mm-hmm. But more of like how you express yourself comes through. Like how is love language. Yeah. Love language. I think for each person,'cause like realistically, I wouldn't wanna cook dinner every night, so I'm really hoping whoever it is, they like to do that. But I think there is there is a balance you find Yeah. With said person. I think it, I think it's a lot of things, but I think in general, I think food, red flags are important for you to know mm-hmm. In an intimate relationship. Because if it's not known, I think it could create a lot of tension. Mm-hmm. But I, I think what you said, just being open to trying new things, that's a big thing. Not just with food, but with what's important to you. Mm-hmm. Especially in intimate relationships. Yeah. But gotta be open-minded. Gotta be open-minded. What are we drinking tonight? Well, we started off with white. We did, and we hated it. So we moved to red, I'm sorry, a Sauvignon Blanc person. This one is called Chateau. It's a Saint 1,000,020 22. Can you say that via Conac? It is a red wine, a Bordeaux? Is that a thing? I think, right. Again, we're not wine sommeliers. Yeah. We just, it's obviously not like to drink's. We're not al piece. It's a red, it's a red Bordeaux wine. Okay. Yeah. Yes. Product of France. Cool. How would you describe it? The first taste I got was Woody, So how would we rate this out of all the red wines we've had? Is like not my favorite. Mm-hmm. I think the one that we had last time was so good. The red wine. But I like it'cause it's really, it's one of the more unique red wines. Yeah. I'm talking like I know. No red wine. You know, red wine. But it is, there is like a, well because it's woody flavor. Yeah. There is a woody flavor for some reason, but there's also, but it smells like cherries. Yes. It smells like cherries. That was really good. Wow. Yeah. So it does have a fruit aspect, which we like more. Sweeter red wines, I think. Yeah. But not like sugary sweet. No. But less, less less of a, like a sour, like a bite to it. Mm-hmm. Not we, we are not big into the dry. So we've discussed how food influences our relationships. Through friends, through meeting new people, through intimate relationships, romantic dating. Lastly I'd like to talk about, how does food shape our relationships in the context of our community or outer community? Culturally? Do you think food can help bridge differences between people and how, and I think we did talk about it in the sense of creating better understanding creating like more awareness of different cultures where you live. Mm-hmm. And cultural backgrounds, but how else? And through politics. And how else do you think food can help bridge differences between people? Oh man. I mean, even your neighbors, you know, it can be that tight of a context. Yeah. Like someone is having, you know, it's like your kids' birthday and you're having a barbecue in the backyard and you know the neighbors have kids and you kind of invite them over and it's a way to get to know someone, you know? Yeah. I think the word that stood out to me is the bridge part. Yeah. Like food is a bridge. Mm-hmm. I think an an invitation and offer and extension of hand of goods is one way of bridging. Yeah. Between your experience and someone else's experience, even if it's right next door. This makes me think of the most random scene. What from Willy Wonka 2010 one. Yes. Where he meets the umba leader. And the guy gives him the delicacy of like the smashed bug and he like eats it. He has to eat it. Yeah, he has to eat it.'cause it's a show of good, you know, trust and goodwill. Yeah, Goodwill. Yeah. He's like sharing a prized D meal with someone. Yeah. And I think even moving from like neighbors, is that kind of bridge of from my home to yours. Mm-hmm. Like we wanna have good relations, but also like in different cultural context. It is a sign of disrespect or like of like not accepting someone's hospitality is almost disconnecting that bridge. So, and I've, I've been on a few mission trips or cross-cultural, but I think the coolest part that I got from like these going into different cultures and experiences is. The biggest thing they said was like, just don't refuse it. Mm-hmm. And we as Americans, I think, have preferences is, or special, like individual identity is so huge here that when going to somewhere else where it is just important to be a part of the custom or the ritual to create good per community, good community or just create a good relationship with someone is you set those things aside. And I think that's something I've really taken from those, like my cross-cultural mm-hmm. Experiences is like I can have a preference. Like maybe I don't want to eat that right now. Mm-hmm. But that's not what the eating the food isn't the main part of what I'm doing. Mm-hmm. I'm building a, a bridge, I'm building a connection. Yeah. I'm building community with someone accepting someone's hospitality versus putting my own needs or wants first. Yeah. I definitely think the idea of being picky mm-hmm. Giant, no stranger to is. A point of privilege. Mm. Yeah. You know, like we are, or just expressing it too, because I think a lot of people like being able to express it Yeah. And hold that ground. Mm-hmm. Of I'm not going to eat this, you know, is because we have that ability to have such diverse culture and abundance and overabundance of food and ingredients where we live and Yeah. I definitely, yeah, it's truly says something when someone is offering you out of the kindness of their heart or their community or as a show of good faith and for someone to refuse that, it's like a slap in the face. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And I think too, on the side of the picky side, I've seen hospitality grow mm-hmm Through accommodating to people's like specific needs. So like I know a lot of people who, they go to dinner parties and they have a lot of anxiety around that because they can't eat certain things or they go to certain community groups. At people's homes and they feel uncomfortable initially even before going because of their own things mm-hmm. That they can't eat. Yeah.'cause there can be picky. Mm-hmm. And then there can be like medical things, medical reasons, or like vegetarian or vegan or you have celiacs. Yeah. There are certain things that you can't help. There's allergies, there's strong allergies that you have to be aware of. And Yeah. And I think when the people, when you understand that about people, that it's not just a pickiness, it's like something that they, they have to think about throughout the day. When you think about it for them or you create an option for them, it creates a very special space of oh, someone thought about my individual needs and went out of their way for making something for a mass amount of people and made something individually for me.'cause they thought about it. And I think that even creates more of a like connection. Mm-hmm. And that's just like. Thinking about food and like how food affects people. Yeah. And I can even think about it in the way of how people eat. I think here we are used to having people eat solo. Mm-hmm. You know, and in some, like other parts of the world, food is a communal meal. Like it's where you come together as a family or with friends. If you're going out, it's to eat together, like you're sharing this meal because you're wanting to engage and you know, share time with someone. Mm-hmm. And I think, again, I think it kind of bounces off the idea of like solo kinda like identity and like being our own person is such a strong thing here that I love. The idea like, you know, like eating solo. I think that's totally fine. And I know that some places I've got traveled to, it's kind of like you are eating by yourself. Hmm. Yeah. But it's, it's common here. Mm-hmm. It's very common here. We have every, there's like such a different structure around food, I think here than anywhere else. Yeah. Right. And maybe that's in a American centric idea. Yeah. I think it's, I think it's more of a like almost, I don't wanna say the word, like sacredness of like meals. Mm-hmm. And going out is different than here, we're so consumed with convenience, efficiency, and just like the flow of our day mm-hmm. That we compromise. Like having a meal versus just like having something ready or going and picking something through a drive through. But I do think in a sense, like the restaurant industry here thrives on celebrations, like special moments and and sharing those moments with people. Mm-hmm. And creating atmospheres where people want to go and experience that because we don't have it very often. Mm-hmm. So it's almost like a special thing let's go out to eat. Yeah. Let's go and try this new place. But I think like what you were touching on other cultures, meals and daily meals are a lot more of these, like those special moments mm-hmm. Just in their mundane, like everyday life. But I think, yeah, I think we're very much we're remoted by our individual wants. Mm-hmm. And needs versus other communities can be motivated by more of the communal aspect of things. But I like thinking about it in that. Either side of that, sharing a meal with someone is always a way to deepen a bond. You know, be bringing together family or like friends and stuff that's that deepens your bond. But like when we go out to eat here, that's kind of the same thing. You wanna share a moment with the people you care about. Mm-hmm. And it's not always family. It could be friends, it could be a partner, but that same line of thinking Yeah. Is always there. Yeah. Like a meal is something when you're sharing it with someone, it's supposed, it means something. Yeah. To you to want to be around someone and spend the next three hours with them. Yeah. Something I experienced recently that I thought was really cool and I never really thought about it too much, but even going out and sharing a meal with one other person. Mm-hmm. You're not the only person in that place sharing a meal. And so my favorite part when I like go to a new place and I dunno what the menu is or what's good and a lot of times like somebody's, like I'm used to menus with pictures so I know what I'm getting. Mm-hmm. I'll look around at the table and someone like the server will bring a plate of food and I'm like, that looks good. And we immediately, I know I connect with someone that I don't even know, haven't talked to, but is sitting across the way eating the same meal I'm eating. Mm-hmm. I think there's a weird shared experience in that too, of you're going out, you're, you're seeing other people order something similar to what you might order mm-hmm. And making decisions on that with your own like experience, but you're experiencing everyone around you is having a, their own experience. Yeah. At the same place. I think that's really cool. And that reminds me of when I went to. There was like a ramen exhibit with Japan house where every week was a new regional ramen. And when I, when we went, we were waiting to order, we had no idea what it was gonna look like, how much food with her was gonna be, and the woman next to us, she was eating her meal and she was like, finishing up. And I just, I couldn't help. I was like, how was it? Yeah. I was like, that looks so good. Like, how? Yeah. You know, what did you think? And never met this woman. Don't, didn't know her name, never learned her name. Mm-hmm. I just, I just wanna know how, how her food was. Yeah. And she was like gushing about, she's oh, it's gonna be great. You're gonna love it. Like about the meal you're gonna share with someone else, or the fact that you know that the other people around you are enjoying the same thing that you're gonna enjoy and just, yeah. Food is such a great way to break down a barrier or a wall, and it's a little scary, you know, you're talking to a stranger, but you know that what they're eating, you know, it like entices you. Mm-hmm. Or like you're saying you're like, Hmm, that looks really good. Yeah. I want what they're having. Yeah. You know, and that's around the world, you know, there's no bridge or divide about that. I just love food and I know other people, everybody loves food to an extent and yeah. How does food help break down cultural barriers between people? I think you can find so many similarities between dishes based on what ingredients you're using, and even if it's like an unfamiliar dish, like if it's, there's one ingredient that catches your eye in that dish, you know, it kind of opens you up a little to being able to try that and learning something new. Yeah. About a different culture or a different place. Like I was saying about Spain, like I didn't like cured meats. Yeah. I really, really dunno. Like salami sounded so gross to me but then when I went to Spain for the first time and. You know, Hamon is on every menu everywhere. Yeah. And just being like, okay, you know, like I'm here for a reason. I'm gonna try the food that they have here, and this seems to be like the biggest thing. So yeah. And then I tried it and I was like, and why did I not eat? You know, like it brought to mind a new respect for all these different like cured meats. When I think when, when I first heard this question, like I think food is a tangible thing and I think that is like super important where it's like breaking down cultural barriers. There's a lot about culture that is like not really tangible for, unless you're in that culture, to really participate in like different cultural like practices or rights and things like that. You can do them, but you still feel kind of outside of it. Mm-hmm. Or it may not be what you did growing up or what you believe, like what you've been brought up to believe. But I think it's the one experience that like you can either immediately like or dislike. Mm-hmm. And you can immediately like, connect to because it's so tangible. Because it's, it's not just an experience of learning information or hearing someone talk. And if you are sharing a meal that's not from your culture or from a different cultural background with someone of that background, you are immediately sharing the exact same experience and processing it and, and experiencing it. And it changes the way you had maybe previously thought what you just described, basically. Mm-hmm. It's well, I don't like. Cured meats from my hometown, but I like yours. Mm-hmm. And then it, it almost helps you just engage in a different way because it's such a tangible thing and it helps you understand this food came from this place. It's not just like this idea or this like lesson you're learning in class, like you are experiencing it. Mm-hmm. You're tasting it, you're like making your own opinion about it, whatever. But I think it's something like we can share stories all day, but food is something that we can like actually physically give to someone. Mm-hmm. And then have an experience with them. And you brought up traveling. Like I think traveling is such a cool experience, but without food it would be so hard, I think to understand that region or area. Like even I was just doing like a cross country road trip and, and my biggest thing was I wanna try the food from this place. And I could drive through and see the whole place and not really think much of it, but the minute I have the food, I'm experiencing it, you know? Mm-hmm. I'm experiencing that land that different, like cuisine, the different people and how they cook there. Mm-hmm. You know? I think it's like really important if you're trying to break down cultural barriers to have those experiences and I think food is a great way to do that. Yeah.'cause you could easily just choose, especially on a road trip, like fast food. Mm-hmm. We're just gonna grab this really fast, we're gonna keep moving, gonna get to the next destination. Or even when you're traveling you're like, oh, I just, I want something comfortable. I love about traveling is trying their fast food.'cause we have yeah. There's a McDonald's in every state, right? Mm-hmm. But they, certain states have certain things that you may not have. So even just experiencing their fast food or, or like a fast food you haven't tried before mm-hmm. Is also really cool. Or even the fast food that, like if they go to a McDonald's, what do they have at their McDonald's? What's their menu? Yeah. Yeah. It's so different from what we might up here. I did that. I did that in Paris. I was like, we have to go to the McDonald's of Paris. I wanted to see what it was, you know? But yeah, I think that in itself is yeah, it's a cool experience, I think. Yeah.'cause food is like a snapshot. It's almost like a glimpse into what a culture is or what that land values, what that land exports, imports like. Mm-hmm. You, yeah. You can learn so much like. The pricing and the food like will tell you the economic stance of that area or, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's just it gives so much information. He makes me think of tasting history. I forget his name, but tasting history is he's a food historian that makes recipes as close as he can to the original first recipe from places around the world. It could be America, it could be Europe, anywhere. And it really, he goes into detail about what was being imported at that time. What were the relationships between countries at that time? What was available to them? What was new to them? Mm-hmm. Like how did this become a thing that we associate with that place? I think what it does is it helps you understand. Mm-hmm. And I think that's the biggest, like whenever there's cultural barriers or differences, the biggest thing is fear of doing something that's uncomfortable to you. Mm-hmm. Unfamiliar to you and fear of not knowing. Yeah. And I think the fear of the unknown is Oh, is so strong. Is strong. Yeah. But it's also like the minute you break past that and you just try something, you learn so much more about yourself, so much more about the people you're around and where you are. Mm-hmm. And I think, I think that's so cool though, that guy does that because it's so true. I could go to a history class and learn all those things, but until I have a tangible thing that shows me it, mm-hmm. It's gonna be a lot harder to understand. Yeah. It kind of makes sense. Like when you're in like a language class, like you focus a lot on having these like food parties about like maybe the book you're reading in that class at the time or whatever, because it kind of gives you insight and like what they're eating on a day-to-day basis. What is comfort food for them compared to what it is for us? How does it taste, how does it change? Like your perception of a place based through food? The food really just breaks down barriers Thanks so much for joining us today. We're so glad you fold up a chair and stayed a while around here. We believe food is more than just a meal. It's connection and care and all the stories that make us who we are, and we hope this episode reminded you of the joy that comes from sharing something simple with someone else. If you liked what you heard. Follow us wherever you get your podcast, and then leave a review to help others find their way to the table. You can also connect with us on social media or drop us a note. We'd love to hear your own food stories. Until next time, we're so glad you're here because everything's better when we're butter together.